Thursday, July 12, 2007

Out of my mind.

And onto my blog.

In my absence from the blogosphere, so much has been going on that I barely think I have enough room in my mind to worry about all these things at once!

Oh my gosh, the last time I posted I was still dreading my AS exams. Well, alhamdulillah all I have to do now is anticipate... or apprehend the results. Seriously, I don't know how it happens but God does something to take me through exam time, largely unscathed, and I somehow get things done, thank God! Thank God.

But oh man, am I NOT the kind of person who can just go into overdrive for 2 months straight and come out the other end of the season panting, hair askew, and slightly flattened (well, I dunno, look up the laws of aerodynamics), but thoroughly relieved (although I did come out a little fattened).

Family problems. Need I say more? Well, I ain't 'bout to. It's really kind of weird how I switch from sophisticated to slang in just a punctuation mark and a space...

I was kind of... ummm... not jealous, no - just sort of sad that my cousins and I didn't really talk very much between visits (they live in Birmingham, whereas I'm in London), and this period can vary from six months to six days. So I'm really glad now that my youngest cousin and I are talking quite regularly, especially since it takes both of our minds off upsetting matters.

But now, I'm in a state where I know that two people are being more reserved with me than normal, one being my cousin, and the other my friend, for something I don't realise I've done. All I can think of having done is talking to my cousin about why and how to take the hijaab, if she decided to, and going to an Open Day without my friend - only because it was a little late in the day to call her and tell her it would cost her around £25 for the trip on the train, and because she'd spent a whole lot of effort and an hour telling me how she hated the place, and then because she said she only wanted to keep me company, so it was alright if I wasn't able to take her.

Why are things just so unnecessarily complicated? Why can we hurt people without ever intending or wanting to?

And WHY am I so restless right now? I can't believe I'm restless and lazy at the same time. Grrrrooaaahhhhaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

But I like to end on a good note.


1 comment:

Mona said...

salaam! thanks for delurking.
here's hoping you had a brilliant eid as well.
relationships are complicated huh? you know i wish i lived near my cousins growing up so i could do fun stuff with them, but i can see how it would definitely have been complicated too.